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Looking for someone with a sense of humor... A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostiy but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. I wanna eat pussy everyday.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product Woman escort , he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
No Strings No Headaches FWB Are you looking for a no strings type relationship without all the drama and headgames? Or a Friends with Benifits relationship? If so message Beautiful older woman want casual encounter West Jordan me with your and lets talk. I am a White Alpha Male, DD Free and very Kinky. I am into anything. Tell me your wildest fantasies and lets explore them. I am sure there are things you always wanted to do or try. We can be friends as well as lovers. Must be discreet and I will be Discrete. So if you are wanting a exciting erotic encounter message me. Please stop with the spam I am a real guy. Put FWB in the subject line or I will just delete it.
penpals Am looking Beautiful seniors ready adult dating divorced women for penpals, please no , no fake people, should be looking for long term friendship. Looking for someone to help me fullfill an extreme taboo fantasy. Ages 33-45
TO: My NEW Girlfriend They say that if you do what you have always done youll always get what you have always gotten. I need something different. Not truly sure of that it is but Im sure of what I dont want.
I thought of myself for way to many years as being unlucky at love; maybe incapable of being able to have a sincere loving relationship. Too many lovers; not enough love. Then I met the girl before you that taught me about myself and what it is that I need of you. You cant be selfish! Life is not all about you and your joy but us enjoying each other in conversation, gently holding each other, non-verbal communication and learning what it is that makes each of us feel good and doing it .a lot!
I need you to like motorcycles and convertibles because I like to take day trips and I want you with me. Maybe better said, " I want someone to kiss and touch running down the road as well as at home I know you will have your own interests and I encourage that, but I would like to be a part of some of your activities as well. I want to be a part of you even when you leave the zip code. I have learned possibly the most important lesson of all ; the quality of the love that I feel for you, but I want you to love me back also.
Oh, and I need for you to love my dog because I do. Think it would be nice if we shared in that. I want to walk the causeway with you and hold your hand and not feel an emptiness that you wish you were with someone else or that you would still like my company if you had cable TV. I want to feel like something more than a pleasant distraction in your life. At some point I would likely want to be the one you come home to, after I have seen that when you go away alone you still have a part of me with you. You are not ashamed or disappointed or think I am trying to control you with a text or a message left for you out of caring concern and love. If you want to be a part of my life you will need to make me a part of yours.
I prefer that you live a reasonably active lifestyle including exercise, eating well and like monogamous sex where you make a contribution. You know, weve all had them, where they really dont much care if you climax at all?
I hope I have offered some insight into what I am looking for. Pardon my references to my past though I look forward to a new day with a beautiful new friendship of unequalled adventure.

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