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Why didn't you mention the loss of his job as part of the original story? I think you could use some time to really reflect on what's going on behind this money argument. I think there's a lot more going on than budgets and lunches at Chili's. This is about pressure to provide, being left with % of the responsibility to earn the money for the household while you pursue some dream of a better life. You're getting something YOU want and his life well it's full of stuff he HAS to do. The spending is a way of him getting what HE wants. Slender and hairy here. You guys are setting yourselves up for the big fall. Oh he'll get to budget alright, he'll get to budget support and you, well probably kiss this education good-bye for a while. You'll be forced to work until you can afford to pay for it on your own. I gotta ask, did you offer to suspend your plans of going back to school after the job loss until things became more stable? Were YOU willing to give some of this up so that your husband wasn't left with this burden? Is this % on you? NO, not by a shot. He even be saying it's OK and you should keep going to school, verbally giving you full agreement but in reality, the actual real life work that's involved in supporting your wish to improve your education .IT ISN'T WORKING. Something's gotta give It's almost a no win scenario. Things stay the same, the money fights continue, you quit school he's failed to provide for his wife, you're dream dies because he can't make enough. All this budget talk is nice, yeah they are logical solutions but you two are disconnected. Most likely unaware of the emotions the other person feels about what this marriage has become. Well that's a buttload of ASSumptions I've made, could be so far off base it's laughable but my dipshit sensors are tingling The question that keeps coming up for me You're marriage is FAILING what are you really willing to do about it?
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Hi. I'm looking for some advice on a shy guy I work with. We work in a very small office, and started "hanging out" with each other outside of work about 4 months ago. We've both agreed that since we work in a small office, it's no one -'s business but ours, so we've kept it quiet. We've gone on numerous outings, which are basiy dates to me, including, dinners, drives, museums, and comedy shows. We've also spent several evenings at each of our apartments just hanging out, cooking for each other, watching games or, etc. He's even slept on my couch several times b/c it got too late to drive home. When we "- out", we seem to have issues leaving each other, and stay up talking and watching tv into the wee hours of the morning until we are literally falling asleep on the couch together. We do the same thing on the phone, talking back and forth for hours, which I've never known a guy to enjoy doing, EVER. My dilema is this: Because he's so shy, I am the one who seems to always initiate our activities. don't get me wrong, the second I mention doing something he ALWAYS says yes and even research the places to go and things we do. We much spend at least one day every weekend together, on top of seeing each other and talking at work (privately) during the week. He also is shy when it comes to touchy/feely actions. Just recently we've FINALLY held hands (due to my initiation), and cuddled side by side on the couch. I also recently gave him a back and neck massage when he wasn't feeling well and helped him relax and feel better. We always hug good-bye, and it's like we both want to kiss each other, but we are both too shy to make the first move. I confess, I am a bit shy as well when it comes to talking about my feelings, which is why I haven't been able to just ask him about his feelings. I always have to be the initiator when it comes to us, or is there something more I can do to get him to initiate more?
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